Clutter Clearing

Time to close the Drawer for good.

Why? Maybe it is because my life doesn't seem so cluttered anymore. Maybe it is because there is plenty of room in our new house - room enough that the clutter rarely threatens to overwhelm like it used to. Maybe it is because "thirdrawer", while chronicling some of the more humerous moments of the last two years, is also a virtual-place I associate with some of the ugliest times of my life - and some of the ugliest, most hurtful people I have ever known. And to be honest, they are no longer welcome to read about my life now.

Maybe it's just time for a change. Like so many other aspects of my life it is time for a new beginning.

For the time being this site will remain as an archive with no new posts.
I'll be emailing my friends my new URL soon.
If you don't get yours, drop me a line and I'll send you an update!

Cheers, Shan

Stir Crazy

After two and a half weeks of being the primary caregiver in this family it is only fitting that I come down with one Mother (pardon the pun) of a head cold! The day S returned to work (wednesday) I awoke with a sore throat and no energy - and no-one to stay home and take care of me!

It's the weekend now so you would think that with S back home I would relish the thought of just lazing around all day... ARE YOU KIDDING? I've been STUCK here for three weeks now with only an occassional foray into the real world. The absolute LAST thing I want to do is spend any more time here; not reading, not watching tv, not cleaning, not sewing (a project for Liam's school - a whole other story), not staring into space, not again, not any more. Not. Absolutely.

Where Have YOU Been?

It has been quite a couple of weeks.

It all started with a perfectly formed "dewdrop on a rose petal" on Liam's side. There was only one but it heralded a change in daily life as we know it like the crystal clear ring of a bell.

Shortly after I called Steve to inform him of the Pox on our house he called me back with the news that a long awaited day-surgery (not a vasectomy - why does everyone assume he had a vasectomy?) appointment had been made for the following Wednesday. This, I thought, will help break up my stay-at-home purgatory just when it will start getting to me. Steve will be home, recovering for a couple of days, and I can get out of the house...

I should have paid closer attention to that bell tolling.

Steve's surgery, although it was 'minor' and went well, has resulted in him being in constant and excruciating pain for a week now. His 'couple of days to recover' suddenly morphed into a two-week at-home recovery with a regimen of pills that required a spread sheet to keep track of (I'm not kidding, I actually made a spreadsheet). So just as Liam was getting better I acquired a new patient who spent most of his very few waking hours stoned and basically immobile. As I described his situation to one friend last week (after I spent his first day home from surgery calling my mom for childcare and running around picking up various prescriptions, including painkillers, they FORGOT to tell me about at the hospital probably in part due to his BAD reaction to the codeine they had given him) "He’s currently barely conscious, incoherent when he does speak, and ‘handsy’ - so basically a dirty old man in a 36 yr old body..."
She responded with gifts for the poxy boy and a very large bottle of fortified beer for me (aptly named Amnesiac) - some people just get it! (not that I have been able to drink it...)

Steve is almost out of painkillers and we have been rationing him the last couple of days (it's much nicer having my actual husband here for parts of the day) but the (2nd) experimental night-with-only-Extra-Strength-Tylenol was a complete failure. At least I'm still clinging to stable physical health, even if my mental health has taken a beating. While Steve has been shut into a world of pain and hallucinations, I have been trapped into a non-stop single-parenting/nursing role and both of us are losing the sense of who we are.

So, of course, today the inevitable finally happened and Zoe woke up with the pox. They don't call them childhood diseases for nothing. She is three, so inspite of her cold-like symptoms - which give her a cute husky little voice - and fever, she has more energy than Steve and I combined. As Liam and I were setting off in the pouring rain, school-bound on foot and bike, Steve was drawing a bath for the newly spotted girl (My mom claims a warm bath will draw the spots out faster and they suffer less. Whatever - Zoe loves baths). Upon my return, Steve informed me that Zoe, critisizing his bathside manner, had some precious words of wisdom for us;

"Dad, you are NOT a very good Mommy"
"You are a really GREAT Daddy though"

And with that I heard the bell ring again.
This time it helped to clear the fog that started to roll in two weeks ago.
You can always count on your kids to help ground and centre you when you need it most.

Blast From the Past!

Remember when there was no need for babysitters and you had the energy for an all nighter? In another country? Ok, so maybe that's just me.
Anyways, catching up with old friends has been a spontaneous hobby of ours this past year. The latest arrival, Amazing Larry, is an old friend from the days when S and I were in a band together! He hooked us up with a MySpace Video from Fortune & Maltese & the Phabulous Pallbearers - A Garage Band from Detroit Michigen we hosted locally and toured briefly with far too long ago. The following footage is from a very sloppy (we didn't bother rehearsing) gig in Vancouver.

Just Like Me / Try A Little Harder


In their words... "Impromptu workouts of "Just Like Me & Try A LIttle Harder" Live in Vancouver, B.C. with Members of Captain Cook & The Nootka Sound."

Strangers and Fiction

(NOTE: I find myself telling this story often these days so I thought I should post it here for general consumption)

My mind was drifting in the din of Holiday shoppers when I felt the tug at the front of my jacket. Liam's urgent whisper brought me back to the crowded express line at our local grocery store;
"Mom, Zoe's talking to a stranger." His tone implying that although he was concerned for her safety, he was also hoping this time he would be the instrument of her really getting in trouble.

Where Liam was squashed in front of me, the accused delinquint was similarly squashed behind me so I had merely to turn my head and look down to witness the transgression. And there she was, head tilted slightly, looking up at the dreaded Stranger; a diminutive elderly lady with short tightly curled pewter locks, not much taller than Zoe herself - they were singing Jingle Bells to each other. I chuckled softly to myself and mussed liam's hair; "Thankyou for telling me Liam, but I think in this case it's ok."

As they completed their duet and realized that they had an audience, the Stranger immediately noticed Liam's recently acquired gap-toothed grin and turned her attention to him. Beaming, he proudly displayed the empty space and neighbouring loose tooth. Not to be upstaged by her brother's sudden garnering of the spotlight Zoe launched into a display of overeager enthusiasm for her elder brothers suddenly fascinating dental display:
"Oooh Liam, can I see?"
"Ooh, wow!
All the while standing on tip-toe and poking her little fingers into Liam's mouth, prodding here and there as though teeth were the most amazing thing she could imagine. Never mind that she couldn't care less about the state of Liam's mouth in any other given situation.

The amused stranger turned to me stating in a conspiratorial whisper, "She's going to be a dentist."
To which I replied with a knowing smirk, "No, She's going to be an actress."

(ASIDE: Zoe sings almost constantly and it seems that this time she found a willing duet partner. Later on outside the grocery store, where her enthusiastic carolling travelled more than a mere few inches, she managed to trigger at least two passersby into subconsciously joining her.)

Deep Freeze

Just another West Coast winter...NOT!
Second snowfall in a winter and a deep-freeze to boot. (I know I know. Big effin' deal, right? Well it's OUR version of climate change so go suck it!). Not that a west coast deep freeze (translation: actually below zero during the day) is anything like the deep-freezes of my prairie childhood (translation: actually below -30 during the day, occassionally with a bonus windchill dropping temps to -50 or so). But it's still pretty freakin cold.

The Kids love it though.
Liam has decided that Snow is the best thing to happen to Outside since we left the old yard and all the climbing toys. He's been honing his snowball-throwing and angel-making skills whenever he gets the chance. We have yet to purchase a sled (? I never thought I'd need one out here and they sell FAST when the snow does fall) and stake out a hill. Maybe next snowfall - and at this rate it could be as soon as February.

Zoe, on the other hand, is working on developing her pallet for snow. I've managed to convince her to stay away from yellow and brown snow, and the salted stuff on the sidewalks etc, but even two day old stomped on snow that still looks relatively white is worth a try as far as she is concerned.

Box No More

OOoooohhhh! A new version of Blogger...

Despite the fact that I NEVER seem to actually post here anymore, I do occasionally sit down and beat my head against the computer screen trying to dislodge whatever is blocking the writing impulse. I do write - just not coherently or consistently and certainly nothing I'd like to share with the world at large. So here is attempt number 20065 or something like that.

At least the computer is no longer on a box in the hallway. Our fab-u-lous internet cafe is finally set up and wowing the guests - or at least Steve everytime he uses the main floor bathroom. (You have to know the layout of our house to get that one).

See, I was just interrupted by Zoe demanding something random from me. THIS is the source of at least one component of my writers block - CHILDREN.

And the other is just the fact that time passes....like 2 and a half days since I started this, so far...